How my art speaks of loneliness

Lonely in the Crowd

When I tell someone that I am lonely, many do not believe me. They wonder how a person who is always communicating and has many relationships around him can be lonely. That is exactly how it is. I used to think that the feeling of loneliness only occurs when I am alone and have no one to share with. But gradually my definition of loneliness has changed. Now loneliness does not depend on the number of people I am in contact with or the amount of time I spend with others, but on my inner state of mind.

I can be surrounded by hundreds of people and still feel lonely. I can laugh and talk with lots of people, but inside I feel empty.

If you say that someone is only lonely when they are alone, that doesn’t apply to me because I often spend a lot of time alone and enjoy that. I feel comfortable and free in my own space. So do I like solitude? Not necessarily. A person can feel terrible when they have no one to talk to, but I feel scared when I talk and they don’t want to understand or ignore what I say. The expectation of the other person makes me disappointed with the outcome and that leads to a feeling of loneliness even when I am in a face-to-face conversation.

I’m not afraid of being alone, I’m just afraid of being alone in conversations with people.

But that is an objective reason. I cannot force others to listen and understand my story. I know that and although it is difficult to accept the inadvertent abandonment of others, I often put myself in such situations. Because that is how I think that I can eliminate loneliness when I am alone – that is, I can overcome the cause of loneliness, which I once defined as being alone. British writer and journalist Johann Hari, author of Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression – and the Unexpected Solutions, wrote:

“Loneliness isn’t the physical absence of other people it’s the sense that you’re not sharing anything that matters with anyone else.”

(Johann Hari. Lost connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression and the Unexpected Solution.)

I find that this lack of social contact is making me feel lonely. According to a study by Vivek H. Murthy in Together: The Healing 2 Power of Human Connection in Some Lonely World, he writes:

“If you ask people today what they value most in life, most will point to family and friends. Yet the way we spend our days is often at odds with that value. Our twenty-first-century world demands that we focus on pursuits that seem to be in constant competition for our time, attention, energy, and commitment. Many of these pursuits are themselves competitions. We compete for jobs and status. We compete over possessions, money, and reputation. We strive to stay afloat and to get ahead. Meanwhile, the relationships we claim to prize often get neglected in the chase”

(Vivek H. Murthy. Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in Sometimes Lonely World, p. 98)

This argument by Vivek H. Murthy made me reflect on my childhood experience. I was born and brought up in a small country. With a childlike soul, I enjoy spending quality time with my family and the people around me. However, from a young age, I realized that a culture of comparison is widespread. Children in the family are always compared with each other – who studies better, who behaves better, who is more beautiful. In school, the competitive environment is even tougher, students are put on a scale to compare teachers’ preferences and their academic performance. During our school years, we are motivated not only by personal goals but also by the expectations of adults. Friendships can go wrong if we have different grades. I realized that I never liked this comparison, but it didn’t help that I unintentionally fell for it either. When I achieve good results, I become the center of attention, the standard of a good enough child in the community. But I don’t always feel comfortable in this position. The fear that one day I won’t be good enough and people will talk negatively about me is always there. The question of why I can’t be as good as someone else is more frightening than not being as good as someone else. I try to fit in with society, but differences in thinking and social standards make me want to separate. I often imagine that I am not a prominent light in the crowd, but I am not an opponent either.

Even though I’m not anti-social, I sometimes choose to be lonely and
ignore the judgmental looks of those around me. This internal conflict underscores my desire for real connections rather than an obsession with comparison.

The weakness

No matter how resilient and strong each of us is, we all have our own tolerance level. Loneliness can leave us mentally and emotionally exhausted and weakened day after day.

Loneliness is also peace

Loneliness is not as scary as many people think. Experiencing loneliness does not mean that we have failed as a society. Sometimes times of loneliness are an opportunity to step back from the hustle and bustle of life, look back at ourselves, reflect on the relationships around us, and consider the true value of connection in life.

Understanding loneliness not only helps us overcome the negative effects of loneliness, it also helps us understand and empathize with others. When we enter the lonely world of others, we not only listen to the words, but also feel the emotions hidden deep inside, thus helping to open the heart of each person.

Entering the World of Solitude

Loneliness is not always a negative, sad and gloomy picture. Our life in the real world is very colorful and diverse. Every day, when we go out on the street and join the busy crowd, we may accidentally pass by lonely souls. They are still brilliant, still bright, but there are moments of silence that are difficult to describe in words. The contrast and paradox of bright colors on the theme of loneliness highlights human emotions and shows that loneliness is not only sad or gloomy, but can also exist in seemingly impossible and joyful moments. It describes the deep contradiction in people. Someone may appear bright, colorful and lively on the outside, but feel lonely and empty on the inside. Moreover, bright colors also represent hope and positivity hidden in lonely moments. Even in the darkest moments, there is always hope for the possibility of finding comfort and peace. Encourage viewers to look at loneliness from different angles and find the positive in the negative.